The Polarity of Work Versus Play

I grew up with a killer work ethic. I’ve spent the last five years working to outgrow it.

In my house, there were chores to be done. Homework to be completed. Any hint of idle time risked being found out and consequently assigned even more chores.

The safe thing to do was to escape the house and the watchful eyes of my parents. On our bikes we could be free. We could explore the woods, roam the neighborhood, play with friends.

There were, however, certain leisure activities that were considered good uses of your time. Reading got one a bye, a developed habit that lives on. As did any hobby where you were making something useful or learning a new skill.

To this day, my upbringing continues to pay rewards. My work ethic has enabled me to raise a family and have a career, to write books, to start businesses and go farther in this world than anyone, even myself, might imagine.

And yet, as with most polarities, my work ethic can have a dark side. For every strength carries within it the possibility of becoming a liability.

My strong work ethic works against me when I insist on doing it myself, refusing even to consider asking for help. It does not serve me when I work myself into exhaustion, typically overextending to honor my standards, not those of others. It does me a disservice when I finally sit down to rest, only to find my mind racing, my body twitching, a sense of guilt looming, my inner voice chiding me for being lazy or slothful.

Finding New Rhythms

Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, has been instrumental in helping me find the balance between work and play. If you don’t know her work, she reminds us that we all can be creative and that creativity requires play.

She advocates that each one of us should schedule (and actually take) an artist or play date weekly. In her words, an artist date is “a block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist… a play date that you preplan and defend against all interlopers. You do not take anyone on this artist date but you and your inner artist”

Play dates have become a weekly (well…most weeks) ritual for me. Recent play dates have included:

• Time at Barnes & Noble, browsing and sipping Chai tea

• Hiking in a sculpture garden

• Creating mandalas

• Experimenting with a stained glass kit

• A trip to a garden shop/green house

• A long bike ride around a lake, stopping to make amateurish sketches along the way

I must admit that I stretch the rules a bit. I count any focused activity that taps into my sense of play and wonder. Things like dancing on the deck with my 3-year-old great-niece. A nap in a sunny spot. An art project with a friend. A concert with my hubby.

Yet the beauty of a play date is that it’s given me “permission” to just play around. To lollygag. To experiment and explore. To have fun.

And in those moments, magic happens. There is renewal. A shift in perspective. A lightening of the load I can carry.  

It's remarkable how often my best ideas arrive when I'm no longer trying to have them. Problems untangle themselves. Connections emerge. The very productivity I was chasing shows up after I've stopped chasing it.

I’m reminded of the old saying that “All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.” (My adaptations.) Not only dull, but lifeless, stiff, overextended, stressed, and exhausted. And, of course, the paradox is that when I take to play (and to rest), I am more productive. More creative. More able to serve others in ways that matter.

I’m grateful to my parents for instilling my work ethic. I’m also grateful that I’ve found, even later in life, the counter-balance to work in play and wonder. And contrary to the fears that drive most people into overwork, I’ve not yet run the danger of becoming a lazy, slacking freeloader.

Once again, the polarity of work/play, when integrated, enables us to do both, in the amount that serves our current circumstances best. The goal isn't choosing work or play. It's learning the rhythm of both.

And as Julia Cameron suggests, the value isn't in producing anything, it's in paying attention.

Ask yourself afterward:

• What surprised me today?

• What made me smile?

• What sparked my curiosity?

• When did I lose track of time?

• What would I like to explore more deeply?

Go play. Your work will thank you for it.

Want to Try It?

Here are some ideas!

Nature & Wonder

1. Visit a botanical garden and photograph ten things you've never noticed before.

2. Take a sunrise or sunset walk without headphones and simply observe.

3. Collect natural treasures—interesting leaves, stones, feathers, seed pods—and create a small display.

4. Visit a butterfly house or conservatory and spend an hour moving at their pace.

Art & Creativity

5. Browse an art museum and choose one artwork to study for twenty minutes.

6. Visit a local pottery studio and paint a mug or bowl.

7. Take a sketchbook to a café and draw people, even if you think you can't draw.

8. Spend an afternoon in an independent bookstore reading the first chapter of five books you wouldn't normally choose.

Music & Performance

9. Attend a free outdoor concert or community performance.

10. Visit a record store and buy one album solely because the cover intrigues you.

11. Go to an open mic night or community theater production.

12. Learn a simple dance—ballroom, swing, line dancing, or salsa—for an evening.

Exploration

13. Become a tourist in your own town. Visit a historic site, landmark, or neighborhood you've never explored.

14. Take a scenic drive and stop wherever something catches your eye.

15. Visit an antique mall and invent stories about the objects and the people who owned them.

16. Explore a local farmers market and buy one ingredient you've never cooked with.

Hands-On Play

17. Build something with LEGO® bricks or another construction toy—no instructions allowed.

18. Spend an hour in a craft store choosing supplies for a project you've never tried.

19. Fly a kite, blow bubbles, or color with crayons in a park.

20. Bake an elaborate dessert simply because it sounds fun, then share it with neighbors or friends.

Bonus Ideas

• Visit an aquarium.

• Wander through a greenhouse.

• Tour a local factory or artisan workshop.

• Take a photography walk with a single color theme.

• Try a glassblowing, stained glass, or blacksmithing class.

• Rent a kayak or canoe.

• Ride a vintage carousel.

• Explore a used music store and listen to unfamiliar genres.

• Visit a planetarium.

• Spend an afternoon volunteering with animals.

‍