The Paradox of Giving and Receiving

The Paradox of Giving and Receiving

When 2 Minus 1 Equals 4

I walked into yoga class and unrolled my brand-new teal mat—soft, spongy, and perfect. It was a gift from my son, Brad. Every pose reminded me of him, his humor, and our bond. Later, I texted him a quick thank-you. His response was immediate and heartfelt.

A simple exchange, yet it revealed a profound truth:

Giving enriches both the receiver and the giver.

On the surface, Brad spent money; I gained a mat.
Yet my simple expression of gratitude enriched both of us. The real wealth?Connection. Thoughtfulness. Love. Every time I unroll that mat, I feel it.

Understanding that gifts serve both the receiver and the giver can be powerful. Knowing this can encourage us to give more freely.Perhaps more importantly, it can ease our discomfort with receiving gifts from others.

Both things can be true: giving benefits both the giver and the receiver.

Discarding the Accounting Frame of Giving

In business, we’re trained to think in debits and credits. Give too much? You lose. Receive? You win. But after decades in corporate life, I see a different story.

Years ago, my employer invested in leadership training for me—tuition, travel, time away from work.

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Short-term cost? Absolutely.
Long-term impact? Immeasurable.

That learning became part of who I am. I use it daily. I share it freely. The ROI keeps multiplying—for me, my clients, and my teams.

Giving isn’t a loss. It’s an investment that compounds.

Giving Examples

●     At Home: You stay late helping your child with a science project.It costs you an hour of sleep, but it builds confidence—and a memory that lasts.

●     At Work: You mentor a junior colleague without being asked. It takes time, but later, that colleague becomes a key ally who champions your ideas.

●     In Leadership: You advocate for flexible schedules for your team. It requires effort to redesign workflows, but it earns loyalty and retention.

●     In Networking: You share your expertise freely at a conference. It’s unpaid, but it positions you as a thought leader and opens doors you never imagined.

Discarding Our Unease with Receiving

We live in a culture that equates receiving with being in a state of “less than”—needy, dependent, or incapable. We’re urged to go it alone(even though no one truly does) and to decline help or support.

Here too, I see a different story.

In my decades in corporate settings, asking for help on big initiatives consistently led to better outcomes. Many hands made lighter work.Progress accelerated. New ideas emerged. People felt pride in the joint effort and became early adopters and advocates.

Receiving is not an admission of weakness. It’s an acknowledgment of the value of others.

Receiving Examples

●     At Home: You appreciate your partner’s effort to do the laundry, even if it wasn’t done the way you would have. You overlook the imperfect folding and honor the gift of their time and service.

●     At Work: You take on a task that’s been “gifted” (or delegated) to you, even though you don’t relish it. Once you do, you gain a new skill and meet new colleagues who benefit you over time.

●     In Leadership: Your team gently insists you go home early, knowing how long you’ve been working. You accept with gratitude—and give them the satisfaction of contributing in meaningful ways.

●     In Networking: A peer offers to introduce you to someone you admire. You overcome your reluctance to impose and say a wholehearted “yes,” building an important new relationship.

The Paradox

Giving without boundaries leads to burnout.
Receiving without giving breeds entitlement.

The sweet spot?
Give freely, with good intentions and healthy boundaries.
Receive graciously and with gratitude.

When giving and receiving are balanced, there is magic—and 2minus 1 can indeed equal 4.

Why This Matters for Us as Women

As women, we often juggle multiple demanding roles—at home, at work, and in our communities.

We tend to give freely, sometimes to the point of depletion.
We may hesitate to receive, unintentionally robbing others of the joy of giving.

Seeing giving and receiving as a cycle—not a one-way transaction—invites a harmonious flow where support moves to where it’s needed.Recognizing that everyone benefits from the act of giving and receiving enriches us all.

Questions to Ponder

●     Are you better at giving or receiving? Why one and not the other?

●     Where are you over-giving? What boundaries can you put in place?

●     Where are you rebuffing the gifts others are offering? What might happen if you accepted their gifts with gratitude?