Mindfulness for the Rest of Us

Four Simple Practices for Busy, Distracted Lives

If you had asked me ten years ago if I had a mindfulness practice, I would have scoffed at you. That stuff was for folks cloistered away in a religious community. It was for those that had quieter days, less to do, fewer responsibilities.

Now I know that the busier I am, the more I need these practices. That the heavier the situation, the more value mindfulness brings.

I’ve come to find that mindfulness practices do not have to take a lot of time. They don’t require mastery of some esoteric technique. These practices can take many shapes and forms, enabling me (and you) to find a practice (or practices) that fit you, your lifestyle, and your needs.

I’ve also come to find out that mindfulness is a practice, that it is best done with showing up day after day after day. Doing well one day and poorly the next is just part of the journey.

Practice isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about showing up often enough that mindfulness becomes a habit.

More importantly, I’ve learned that my life is richer, fuller and more focused when I do commit to a mindfulness practice. That my thinking is clearer and that my well-being is enhanced, even (or especially) in difficult times. This practice may not solve my problems, but it does help me regain perspective, create a clearer head and therefore be much more able to approach the situation in a healthier way.

For me, mindfulness is simply the practice of becoming more present—to what I’m thinking, feeling, doing, and experiencing right now.

As someone with a relatively short attention span, I don’t rely on just one mindfulness practice. I use several. Here are four I return to again and again—not because they are complicated or time-consuming, but because they are simple, portable, and, most importantly, they work.

Practice 1: Gratitude

A gratitude practice helps pull us out of either/or thinking. A difficult day isn’t necessarily a “bad” day. A challenging season can still contain moments of joy, beauty, connection, and goodness. Gratitude helps us notice both.

This practice involves nothing more than noticing the things in your life that you are grateful for. Most often they are simple things like food on the table, a walk outdoors, a conversation with a dear friend. Our lives are filled with things to be grateful for, but far too often we are either too busy or too attuned to the negative in our lives that we fail to see the wonder and goodness all around us.

So begin to notice and record. A few of my favorite ways include:

• Using a beautiful journal to make a daily list of 3-5 things you are grateful for.

• Creating a visual gratitude journal by snapping one photo a day of something you are grateful for, creating a rich visual library you can visit and revisit.

• Sitting down for 10 minutes and filling an entire page with things you are grateful for – a gratitude blitz that is especially helpful on a gloomy day.

• Expressing thanks to others. You might write one thank you note a day. Or verbally say thanks to fifteen people a week (family, friends, and even clerks at the local store).

I’m certain that there are other ways. I challenge you to find the one method you’d like to do with discipline for the next 45 days. And then to assess how your perspective has changed.

Practice 2: Meditation

I found I was mystified by meditation. Early attempts reinforced just how difficult it was to quiet my mind for even three short minutes.

It helped me greatly to understand that meditation, in its simplest form, is merely sitting still, breathing and noticing what came up in my mind and body. I began to realize that meditation wasn’t about emptying my mind. It was about noticing that my mind had wandered and gently bringing my attention back—to my breath, my body, or the present moment. Again and again.

I’ve come to realize that even the days when I can barely keep track of the ruckus in my brain are part of the process.

There are many ways to meditate and many paths to build a meditation practice. I use the App Headspace. I benefited from taking a few classes (often offered at a local church or yoga center). I started with a practice of Moving Meditation, where I walked with a focus on being fully present and in the moment.

Here’s what I’d like you to know: If I can do this, you can too! Give yourself grace as you start and stick with it. Your reward will be better thinking (when you do think) and more peace of mind (when you need to stop overthinking).

Practice 3: Rituals

There are times in the day when we make transitions. From slumber to wakefulness. From home to work (even if they are in the same place at times). From work to home. And from wakefulness to slumber again.

I’ve found it very helpful to establish mindfulness rituals at those transition points that help me leave one state of being more cleanly and enter the other. None of my rituals take much time or effort. As they become familiar, these rituals signal to my mind and body that I am moving from one state of being to another.

Here are a few examples of the rituals I’ve built into my days:

• As I wake, I do a few moments of stretching and yoga. The same routine, day after day. It awakens my body and my mind.

• I light a candle on my desk to begin each workday and set an intention on how I want to show up that day. The candle happens to be a tealight candle that lasts 6 to 7 hours – and when it goes out, it becomes a signal to me that the workday should begin to come to a close.

• Before I leave my workday, I make a prioritized list of what I’ll do tomorrow. This ritual provides closure to the day and gives me a quick start the next morning.

• My last action every night (while in bed) is to write in my gratitude journal, ending the day with a focus on the positive.

Practice 4: Breathing

Our breath is essential and automatic. So much so that we rarely notice this one miraculous action that keeps us alive. Being more mindful of our breathing is a great way to provide focus, to calm jittery nerves, or to reinvigorate ourselves.

When you're agitated, try taking five slow, full breaths and notice what changes. Tired? Take ten deep breaths and imagine energy flowing through your body. Stressed? Spend a minute or two doing nothing but noticing your breath.

When you find yourself in a suboptimal state of mind, make a practice of stopping and bringing more awareness to your breathing. Easy. Simple. Effective.

If you’d like to do some more advanced breath work for mindfulness, this article by Sean Fargo has six ways to do so.

Just Go Try Something!

I’m not suggesting you do all four. Pick one—one of these or something entirely different—and give it a try. Stick with it when you feel inept. Stick with it when your mind refuses to calm down. And, over time, go a little deeper.

Choose one practice. Give it ten minutes—or perhaps just two—each day for the next 30 days. Then notice what has changed.

Don’t begin a mindfulness practice expecting an ever-present state of bliss. That’s not the point.

Look instead for moments. A moment when you catch yourself before reacting. A moment when your busy mind becomes quiet. A moment when you notice something beautiful you might otherwise have missed. A moment when, in the midst of difficulty, you find a little more perspective.

Mindfulness won’t make life less messy. But it can help us meet the mess with greater clarity, presence, and grace.

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And a foot note - I would remiss NOT to invite you to Mindful Monday, a weekly gathering to start you week with reflection, music, and interesting conversation with other women. Come as you can - between 12:10 and 12:30 pm. No cost, but you do need to register to get the Zoom link.

You can learn more and register here.

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